Avoiding parenthood

I have to admit: parenthood is completely baffling to me. It's misunderstood too. Someone once argued that being a parent is the least selfish thing one can do, when in fact it seems to me the most selfish. From my (contingently) middle-class existence, as soon as someone becomes a parent they start to obsess about distinctly bourgeois kinds of concerns: what neighborhood am I going to live in, what kind of house do I have, how can I get my kid into the best schools, etc. Doesn't this exclude other people?

Being a good parent depends above all on "safety" at all levels and at all times. And there is perhaps no more bourgeois notion than safety. Are safety and happiness compatible?